RIP · 02 / Antipatterns
Agile-Fail, SAFe, and ceremony bloat.
Standups that are status theater. Story points as currency. PI Planning as a conference. The failure modes have names — and they are still on the calendar.
Placeholder: a catalog of corporate Agile antipatterns — two-week sprints wrapping six-month roadmaps, “definition of done” as paperwork, and scaling frameworks that add coordination cost without reducing uncertainty.
The point is not dunking on Scrum Masters. It is naming the load so we can drop it.